Dryness of fellowship

You are glorious,
you are awesome,
no sin is found in you,
no sin is found in you.

Fellowship is so difficult for me,
praise and worship seems so dry,
you appear so far away,
there is a barrier between us, God.

I remembered a time
when you are everything to me,
there is no barrier between us,
you share your heart so frequently with me,
your purpose is like my purpose,
your desire is like my desire,
and yet this seems like eons ago.

Why had I changed so much,
why aren't you the treasure of my heart,
my darling God,
my safe refudge,
my precious,
why is this wall so thick!

How I long for a sword
that can cut through this barrier
and brings me back to
the kind of worship
I used to have for you!

Thank you so much, my Lord,
for not abandoning me
when I am so rude,
for not giving up on me
when all in my life does not appear good,
for loving this grumpy, grudgeful, greedy sinner!